Life Through My Bipolar Eyes

Okay, so it is kind of a ridiculous title... It's something my mom says quite a bit when we've been spending too much or living a little too extravagantly. Which has been my life, as of late. I've been manic. I hate when I'm manic. I'm completely aware that I am manic, however so is my husband. I suppose after 10 years together he's gotten really good at spotting the signs and symptoms of my mania. For example, I've been very chatty lately and very busy. All fine and dandy, but I have overbooked myself and worn myself thin. That's why I got sick last week with viral bronchitis... that and Matt had it and got me sick. Another example of my mania would be my money spending. I have been shopping like I have a money tree in full bloom in the backyard. It's kind of crazy, actually. For a long time, I haven't shopped and I've been really level, however I am starting to spend again and I need to reign it in. And the last example I have, wh...

I have been bothered by something lately and I wasn't able to put my finger on it until today on my way to the salon. Last night, I decided I wanted to go from my blunt, chin-length, deep red hair style, to an edgy, blonde, pixie cut. I have always wanted to attempt a pixie, but I never felt it would suit my face or that I was brave enough to feel pretty without long hair. I have also been messing with my hair A LOT lately. I couldn't make up my mind about what I wanted to do with it and nothing was "quite right" for what I didn't know I was looking for. I pinned some ideas on Pinterest last night. I was ready. This was going to happen in about a week at the earliest. I called the salon this morning... They could get me in a noon today. HOLY CRAP! This was happening! Not only was it happening, but the time was 10:30AM, so it was happening in 90 minutes! No going back now! While on my way to the salon, I toyed with ideas of how it would turn out and all...

My school hosted a career fair today at their Brooklyn Park location. My mom and I both attended it. At first when I received the email regarding the career fair, I was like, "Oh sure I'll sign up." But I truly had no intention of going. I'm interested, however, I just began this career path and I don't think it will benefit me very much. Well, my advisor kept emailing me about the career fair this, the career fair that. Then, my admissions advisor gives me a call and leaves me a voicemail... She tells me how happy she would be to accept my LinkedIn connection, and then she proceeds to ask me if I am attending the career fair... HOLY CRAP! I GET THE HINT! Ha ha! Well, I finally tell my therapist that I will not be able to attend therapy this week and that I'm going to the career fair. Yeah... they won me over. My mom and I get there and there are tons of advisors to greet us and direct us to the correct location for my mock interview where I will be...

The title says it all... I've tackled some tough issues this week, and because of my courage to handle these issues, I have found a sense of peace. After Thursday, I felt overwhelmed and anxious. I didn't want Matt to go back to work and after he left, I crashed. Granted, I was very exhausted, so that probably played a big part in it, however, I fell into the darkness. I began to shake. I began to cry. I began to fall off the precipice I had been balancing on for the past several months. I was lonely. I was broken into a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle, and there was little to no chance I would be able to put myself back together. Matt called me and I snapped at him and hung up. I was angry at the situation, not him, but I took it out on him. It was wrong, and I realized that shortly after. I began to pour out my heart to him via text message. I told him how much I hated him being on third shift. How angry I was at how little he was making with all of the experience he has. ...

As some of my loyal and/or personally close readers know, I have been doing Weight Watchers for a little over a month. I have lost 11 pounds and have built crazy amounts of endurance and muscle meeting with a personal trainer once a week. It's so much fun to go grocery shopping now! Granted I do it all online through Coborns Delivery, so I don't have to deal with obnoxious and rude cart-wielding customers, and really crappy parking spots, which is amazing ! I look up Pinterest recipes and share the Pinterest board with one of my close friends, and I scour it once a week looking for next week's recipe of choice for a big, left-over-creating meal. I shop, make it on Sunday or Monday, hit the gym, eat healthy, and do it all again next week. Sounds pretty simple and completely doable right? Weeeeeeellllllll, yes... and no.  I know I should be a big ball of positivity about changing my lifestyle for the better, and all of these great things I am doing for mys...

My first two days of my new job (Wednesday and Thursday) were so great! The kids were just darlings... I mean don't get me wrong, they did test the limits, but they were so good and they have manners, and behave so well! I am so thrilled with this choice in my life and that my trainer chose me and trusted me to do this job. Wednesday was a long day, especially for my first day working again. The kids were fun and we did a lot of cool stuff together, but man was I tired by the time I got home. And I guess the kids crashed pretty hard too. Thursday, I met my friend/trainer and the kiddos at the park by my house and we played for over an hour! It was amazing! They ran, they jumped, they climbed, they were swinging... it was just awesome! Then we went back to Mom's and we painted some pie pumpkins and watched Princess and the Frog. One of the kids was fast asleep during the movie (playing is so exhausting!) and the other colored pictures with me while we watched movies and orde...

Life has taken and unexpected turn, lately. I have accepted a part-time nannying job from a friend of mine, and I couldn't be more excited about it! I haven't worked with children for a little over a year and I am so looking forward to working closely with one family and building a relationship with them and her sweet children. I'm sure I will have a lot of adventures to talk about with nannying! School is school. I am working ahead and trying to accomplish everything during the week and have nothing left to do for the weekend. I really am enjoying my classes so far and full-time is going well, for being in the second week. I am excited about a couple of research projects I have coming up where I get to choose what I research. I chose triple negative breast cancer (what my mom was diagnosed with) and EHR (electronic health records). I think they will make two pretty interesting research topics for my HIT (health information technician) degree. Lately, my life as been ...