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Showing posts from April, 2017

Pills and pizza

Where do I begin?

I know where I would have liked to have ended.

That's sad, isn't it?

Well, that's depression. Sometimes I feel good. And sometimes I feel bad. And other times... the very air I breathe feels like poison in my lungs, and surviving is my only option, even it means turning away from something good and running like hell in a new direction.

Yup, you read that correctly. I am in flight-mode hardcore.

My body is shutting down. Every now and then I'm able to fake it for a few hours. Like, when Matt comes home from work and we run up town to get pills and pizza.

Yup, that's basically it. Pills and pizza.

My psychiatrist added Ativan to my pill cocktail yesterday. I'm only supposed to take it as needed and use my DBT training for the most part. Living in today's world, working at something sounds like... work. I'd rather have the instant gratification and numbing effect of a small pill take ahold of me.

People will find out soon. They always do.…