Life Through My Bipolar Eyes

Sounds easy enough, right? Well, it isn't. From my point of view it wasn't easy. I was a pessimist and I lived in a dark hole within my head, allowing my negative thoughts to cloud my mind and trick me into thinking that they were keeping me warm at night. They weren't. I picked fights with anyone and everyone. I was always on the lookout for someone who disagreed with me, just so I could start arguing with them. I fought with my family, friends, husband, strangers on social media -- you name it! Everyone who entered my life and cross my path was at risk for hearing the overwhelming shouts and aggressive assertion of my opinions. I don't know how it happened. I am not sure where or when I began to realize it, but I was not happy with myself and I was projecting my self-hatred onto others in, what I believed to be, the form of my opinions on certain topics and discussions. It was so unhealthy and I was losing friends and respect fast! But honestly, did it eve...

I have those days where I push myself so hard that I just collapse onto the bed at night. I also have those days where sometimes I sleep all night until 4 in the afternoon. Sometimes I have those days where I'm super productive and I get everything on my list done and then some. Other days, I look at my list of "to do's" and I just want to cry. Some days I am thrilled to get out and see others. Then, there are those days where I could hermit myself into my bedroom and be alone. I have those days where I wake up in a great mood and everything goes right. I have other days when I wake up in a foul mood and nothing goes right. On the flip side, I have those days where I am in a good mood and nothing goes right. And then there are those days where I'm in a terrible mood and some really positive things happen. Some days I am manic beyond belief and spend ridiculous amounts of money on my credit cards. Other days I am depressed and the very idea of getti...

Fill your cup! What does that mean? Well, every day you start out with a cup, whether it is half full, half empty, empty, full, anything, that is up to you and how you look at and react to the world around you and well as yourself. My cup was over flowing the past two weeks. I have had so much that I was giving it away, which for me is not a difficult thing to do. I absolutely love to share my optimism and enthusiasm for life with people all of the time! It is an amazing feeling and very worthwhile. This week, on the other hand, my cup has been emptying and not refilling the way it has in the past. I had to wonder why this was the case. I was beginning to feel down on myself and those around me. I even noticed, when working, I was not talking up the products or myself, but rather I was talking the products and myself down to my clients. Not good. Negativity and pessimism were seeping their way through the cracks of my slowly crumbling enthusiasm. They are two of my worst ene...

Happy new year my friends! I'm sorry I have been MIA lately. Very busy with Christmas, school, birthdays, parties, and a new job! That's right, I said JOB! Only it doesn't feel like a job. When I take a day off (yeah... I choose all the days off I want) I miss it. CRAZY, right? So, you are probably thinking, what has she gotten herself into now? Well, I will tell you exactly that... I have become a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant... And I LOVE IT! I have the opportunity to work as little or as much as I choose! I get to work with AMAZING women (and some amazing men!) and shower them with love, beauty, and some amazing products! I've tried to sell Mary Kay in the past. However, I went about it all wrong. My intention was lost in the shuffle of life. I wanted to make money, fast, without doing any of the work. Now, my new year's intention is "COMMITMENT". It doesn't mean I can never reschedule or call something off... What it does me...