Life Through My Bipolar Eyes

Is  it even possible to accomplish such a thing as a home without a foundation? If your answer is no, then I have another question for you -- Is it possible to have a relationship without support? I would say no. I love my relationships in my life very much, however, that doesn't mean that they all don't at some point or another falter in some way. I'm pretty good at causing a rift here and there. My friends and family can attest to that. But -- I'm tired of always taking the responsibility and feeling like I am so difficult to deal with, when I know that I have worked my butt off to remain more positive, more kind, more -- me! I take on a lot of guilt. I take on a lot of the blame. Sometimes, I feel like I have to take the fall for the problems in my relationships because I'm the one living with the bipolar disorder. Unfortunately, I feel as if I've taken on so much of the blame and guilt, that sometimes the people in my life tend to fault me autom...

Lately I haven't been, but today I have been extremely productive! I got all of our laundry put away, went grocery shopping, bought the hubby some good beer, went to therapy with my mom, figured out what to do with my time, visited with three different friends, took the dog for a walk, took the dog for two more small walks around the house, made myself some shrimp for dinner, and have had 98 ounces of water today! YEAH BABY! Productivity!!! My therapist set three goals for me this week. She normally wouldn't set so many because it can be overwhelming for someone like me who feels the need to complete all of them perfectly, every single day, but she felt I could handle it right now. The goals are as follows: 1) Volunteer for something for at least one hour once a week. 2) Move/be active/physical at least once every day (try no to let my Garmin yell at me with that God awful red bar). and 3) Don't spend money on Groupon all week. In fact, don't even look at Group...

I don't know if my loyal readers have noticed or not, but I have a bad tendency of jumping on the bandwagon (the latest trend, fad diets, whatever is new at the time) -- Who, ME?! NO WAY! (Haha!) My therapist and I have been talking about this lately, and I'm trying to keep heading in the good direction I've been heading down, but it's so hard in today's society. We all just want the quick fix. But after being in therapy with a therapist I really respect for almost a year now, and seeing the slow, but steady progress I've made over this time -- well it just goes to show that I'm doing well, but there are no quick fixes. Good things come with time, patience, and strength to keep pushing through. I really want to lose weight, but how could I have ever focused on that when my life -- well, let's be honest -- it was pretty much in shambles back then. (Obviously, it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but I definitely love where I'm at now compar...

My new psychiatrist changed my medications. She upped one, got rid of another (I weened off of it slowly!), and plans to up another soon. I talked to my therapist before changing my medications though, even though I had the opportunity to change them sooner. I wanted her to be aware of the changes, and also get her okay before doing it, because she knows me so well. She thought the changes were good for me and okay'd them. She also told me to start writing in my journal again so I can document my moods, my habits, sleep, or anything like that. I've been documenting things (although I was bad at doing it this past weekend), and I've noticed a change in appetite since I haven't been on my Herbalife. My therapist and my psychiatrist want to examine my vitamins that I take from Herbalife and okay them for me. My therapist is concerned about me limiting myself and then going into a downward spiral into the darkness when I fail or have a small slip up. I am too. But with ...

Hey guys. So I saw a new psychiatrist today and I thought it went very successful. I really like her and she's a lot better than some of the psychiatrists I have seen in the past. She brought up some interesting points though -- She is concerned about me going on disability. She doesn't want to see me so limited at just the age of 26. She thinks I may be able to work because she thinks my symptoms sound like borderline personality disorder. My new psychiatrist did NOT diagnose me with anything. She said I may have one or the other or possibly even both. She was just thinking out loud. No good psychiatrist would diagnose you with anything in the first visit. But she did read some symptoms to me and had me answer yes or no and I answered yes to all symptoms except one and they were for borderline personality disorder. The two are very similar and one is often mistaken for the other. Here is an interesting article on the differences between the two from PsychologyToday...