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I promise to post about camping this past weekend!

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Sometimes quitting is a good thing

I know I'm a little late to the party here, but happy 2018! It has been for me, thus far. What is new in my life? Let me fill you in... I have challenged myself to workout at least once every day for 100 days IN A ROW! NO BREAKS! And I am currently on day 22, so needless to say, I am sticking with it and I plan to finish and keep going! Working out has changed so much for me. I need way less caffeine. My quality of sleep has improved tremendously. I am down 10 pounds. I am so much more upbeat and positive. The rewards of this challenge have been astonishing so far. I'm very proud of how far I have come in this amount of time. I have also been watching what I eat. Don't get me wrong, I still eat junk every now and then, but most days it is pretty good. I eat smaller portions and I track them on my "Lose It" app. I also track my water intake which I try to drink at least 64 ounces of water every day. That has improved a lot of things as well. In particular, ...
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Facing the grief.

I'm kind of manic right now, but I'm really lacking the motivation, and I wasn't sure why until I spoke on the phone with one of my other mothers. She was kind enough, and brave enough, to tell me I need to get on social security disability benefits. This is the first time anyone has had the courage to tell me that I actually NEED this. I've contemplated this in the past and I've even had a free consultation from an attorney for it. However, I was not prepared for the paperwork I would need at the time because I was not in therapy, and I was still very confident that I would be able to find something that I enjoyed and could stay at long term. Unfortunately, that is not my reality. It's not that I haven't enjoyed most of my jobs, or that I just didn't want to work. My mind rejects the work and it comes out in my body rejecting the work through seizures. So, what does that mean for Jill's reality? The scary part is... I just don't know. ...
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Letting go of the hate

Sounds easy enough, right? Well, it isn't. From my point of view it wasn't easy. I was a pessimist and I lived in a dark hole within my head, allowing my negative thoughts to cloud my mind and trick me into thinking that they were keeping me warm at night. They weren't. I picked fights with anyone and everyone. I was always on the lookout for someone who disagreed with me, just so I could start arguing with them. I fought with my family, friends, husband, strangers on social media -- you name it! Everyone who entered my life and cross my path was at risk for hearing the overwhelming shouts and aggressive assertion of my opinions. I don't know how it happened. I am not sure where or when I began to realize it, but I was not happy with myself and I was projecting my self-hatred onto others in, what I believed to be, the form of my opinions on certain topics and discussions. It was so unhealthy and I was losing friends and respect fast! But honestly, did it eve...
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