Are you there?

Are you there?

I don't know if you are, or aren't.

I think you are. I feel as if you are. I'm so sure of it on good days.

But then comes a slow sinking feeling that I will be left heartbroken.

I shouldn't be heartbroken though.

I should want to ignore you, and I should want you to not exist... But I can't help myself.

I'm in love with who you are becoming. Who I think you are becoming, anyway.

Sometimes, I gently touch you, or what I think is you and I imagine that you know me.

That we are already in love.

But... Are you there?

I don't know right now.

Everything around me screams "No... No... NO!... NOOO!!!"

My heart is screaming "Yes, please don't just be a dream! Please be real!"

My dreams only consist of you, these days.

I just can't help but to always have you on my mind, it seems.

I don't know.

Are you there?

Who are you? Where are you? Who will you become?

I want to hug you and tell you that I wanted this all along, but I would be lying to you.

I'm scared of you.

I'm scared of the pain you will bring me.

The heartache...

The sleepless nights I will spend (already spend) thinking about you...

Love is so funny and yet so fickle.

But... I pray, and I hope, and I say my daily affirmations...

Because with hope beyond hope...

And with doubts beyond belief;

I want you to be there.

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