I'm kind of manic right now, but I'm really lacking the motivation, and I wasn't sure why until I spoke on the phone with one of my other mothers. She was kind enough, and brave enough, to tell me I need to get on social security disability benefits. This is the first time anyone has had the courage to tell me that I actually NEED this. I've contemplated this in the past and I've even had a free consultation from an attorney for it. However, I was not prepared for the paperwork I would need at the time because I was not in therapy, and I was still very confident that I would be able to find something that I enjoyed and could stay at long term. Unfortunately, that is not my reality. It's not that I haven't enjoyed most of my jobs, or that I just didn't want to work. My mind rejects the work and it comes out in my body rejecting the work through seizures. So, what does that mean for Jill's reality? The scary part is... I just don't know. ...
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