Resumes, finals, and personal trainers, OH MY!

This Friday marks the end of my first quarter back at school. October 6th I begin school again for the fall/winter quarter as a full-time student in the HIT (health information technician) program, and to be honest.. I couldn't be more excited! I can't wait to have more things to fill my days with classes and feelings of productivity! One quarter down in the journey to getting my degree and a job that will be sustainable for me and my future!

With this feeling of success comes a feeling that resembles a ball of yarn, but is definitely nerves. I am terrible at tests. I always rush and I can't help but feeling like 75 minutes for 75 questions is just not enough. My anxiety creeps in with every quiz I've had so far and just absolutely chokes me until I click away and answer as best I can and finish as quickly as possible. It's an anxiety issue I have had for a long time. Teachers have always been amazed at how quickly I complete a test or quiz. I'm not. I am a terrible test-taker.

Don't get me wrong, I am a great student. Diligent with my assignments, typically working ahead when allowed to do so, and I typically carry an average GPA of 3.6. 

However, tests + Jill = Suffocation with feelings of anxiety and doubt. 

So I'm really anxious to take my final. I listened, took notes, and reviewed the final review lecture online, but I'm still so nervous. I have until Friday to take the final, but I'm thinking about taking it tomorrow simply to get it out of the way and just be done with it. That way it won't loom over me like a black rain cloud, bringing me down into the darkness of depression and feelings of hopelessness. I hope my next classes allow more time for tests like my previous class did.

With all of this anxiety standing directly in front of me, the manic mistress inside of me is already looking to the anxiety that is lurking around the corner of my future. My resume. Dear God I have literally nothing to show for 26 years of life. I have no idea what to put on my resume for past work, considering I had 9 jobs in the past two years alone, not to mention, none of them lasting even 6 months due to seizures and manic-depressive episodes. Thanks life. 

So, I'm currently Pinterest-ing my brain out looking for ways to write a killer cover letter and how to beef up my resume. I'm hoping school will help and be able to look good on my resume. I'd also like to do a work-study maybe beginning in January (so I have time to figure out how full-time classes will treat me), volunteering somewhere to look good and to also do good, and lastly, I would like to do an internship in the medical billing and coding field... hopefully. 

Here's my plug... if anyone knows anyone in the field, has experience with resumes and/or cover letters, etc. I'd love some tips/pieces of advice/words of encouragement. 

The last thing that is building up some feelings of apprehension in my life would be meeting and doing my first workout with my personal trainer. Yeah... I signed up to meet with a trainer once a week. I mean, I'm excited about it and to get great tips and tricks for toning and getting in shape, however, my last experience with a trainer was not a pleasant one. I cried a lot. He yelled a lot. I skipped a lot. It was 3x per week and expensive (which thank goodness, I do not have to worry about). 

I just want it to be an enjoyable experience and not to scare me to the point of stress-induced seizures and dry-heaving like before. I don't know if you guys know this or not, but that shit sucks balls!

On the bright side, I lost another pound this past week! My friend and I keep going on walks and it's so much fun to hang out, workout and talk together all at the same time. Working out has almost become my favorite part of the day thanks to her. She told me that she has to think of working out as her "me time", where it is literally about her decompressing the day, listening/reading/doing what she enjoys to feel good about herself. When looking at working out from this perspective, it is absolutely much more enjoyable!

In short, thank God for the bicycle and me pushing myself so hard, or I feel the stress of all of these situations would absolutely consume me. I've learned a lot about myself and how to handle situations that come my way. A lot to be proud of myself about right now.

YOU GO, GLEN COCO!